A Disturbing Trend
First of all, hello. It’s been a while. This winter and spring have been busy, and I have not done a great job keeping the blog posts coming. So, I return to the blogosphere. So, here goes.
I would have planned a more light-hearted post for my return, but I want to address a trend that I have noticed that has me concerned, and a little bit bothered. I usually try to keep my distance from politically charged topics, but I want to focus on something moral that has affected the political landscape in the past few days. It’s really been ongoing for a while, and my issue is not with politics, but with the response of some people of the faith. I really want to try to keep this objective, but I doubt that’s going to happen. Anyway, on to the issue.
It is no secret by now that the President of the United States and key members of his administration have, in recent days, voiced their support of marriage rights for homosexuals. Apart from President Obama saying anything, this issue is very polarizing in our culture. It’s not hard to find anyone with an opinion on the matter. The trend I have noticed deals with the response of some Christians. I find it interesting that people of faith speak out with what seems to be a very compromised stance on an issue that the Bible treats as black and white. I have noticed in reading Facebook and Twitter updates, that our Christian culture seems to have become more concerned with how people feel than what God says. Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not in favor of anyone mistreating another person. And some would say that we as Christians cannot afford to be narrow-minded. I realize that I am not the most sought after biblical scholar, but the Bible seems to be pretty narrow in its approach to most issues. Jesus is pretty exclusive when He says “I am THE Way, THE truth, and THE life”.
I guess I need to wrap this up, and I’ve probably rambled more than I should have. I guess my point is that we as followers of Christ should be tenacious about our respect of God’s Word. If you claim to be a Christian, but land on the more liberal side of the gay marriage issue, please preface your statements with a disclaimer. At least tell us that you don’t believe the Bible is inerrant. Yeah, I guess I’m just naive enough to believe that God’s Word is actually the authority on the issue. When I read Romans chapter 1, I don’t get a mixed message from God. Seems to me that God created man and woman to experience perfect unity in a marriage that He blesses. Any other sexual/emotional/physical union is not sanctioned or blessed in Scripture. So, we need to make sure as Christians that we are exalting the Word of God and not a social agenda that makes everyone feel good. We CAN love others as Christ loved us. But Jesus’ love does not excuse sinful behavior, it changes it.
Just my two cents. Maybe I’ll add more when my thoughts are clearer. Thanks for letting me ramble . . .
-JT-
Pray for Students
Students face so much in the world we live in. They are pressured to succeed while being loaded with tremendous expectations. Many of them work countless hours throughout the week to maintain high grades, while balancing extracurricular activities and possibly even a part-time job. On top of those weighty expectations are the pressures that come from their peers. They are constantly facing the choice to conform to the worlds ideologies and standards or stand on their own principles. There exists an ongoing stress of looking or dressing a certain way, and trying to fit an ‘acceptable’ standard.
In all of this, I fear that students are struggling to simply be heard. Their worlds are marked by a constant ‘noise’ that prevents them many times from expressing their true feelings. I have talked to many students, and most times I come away with the impression that they need some way to emotionally unwind. This is a crucial place, as some will turn to sex, alcohol, or drugs to ease the pain they are feeling. Some will even go to the dark places of eating disorders or cutting. A few will see suicide as the only escape.
This world is a tough world for a teenager. And now, more than ever before, they need caring adults that will lift them up before a loving Heavenly Father. How will you impact the life of a student today. Perhaps through a kind note or a post on their Facebook wall. Maybe a cup of coffee and a conversation? Every teenager needs at least one caring adult in his or her corner. And the more, the better.
If you do nothing else today, please pray for a student. You may be changing their day, or even their world. Find a way to make a difference in their lives and seize the opportunity. They may be counting on you, and neither one of you knows it.
-JT-
Super Bowl Commercials & The Gospel
Just finished watching the Super Bowl, and I gotta say that was a great game. In the end, the Giants pulled it out on a fine game-winning drive orchestrated by Eli Manning.
While many people watch the Super Bowl to see the game, there are thousands (maybe even millions) that watch it just for the commercials. Companies spend millions of dollars for those few seconds to get their message out and promote their product. There are always some creative commercials, and some are just plain hilarious (can you say Doritos and the baby catapult?). I think there is a strong message in those commercials for followers of Christ.
1. Many times a product is good enough.
Most of the corporations that spend megabucks on promotion don’t really need to. Coca-cola is doing just fine. Watching four different polar bear commercials probably won’t make too much difference. The same is true with companies like Honda, Kia, and Doritos. Here’s the spin for those of us that are Christ-followers: the Gospel is enough without anything we feel the need to add to it. Jesus has been changing lives for over 2,000 years. He doesn’t particularly need us to hype him up any.
2. Companies will go to great lengths to reinvent themselves for new potential customers.
While the message of the Gospel does not need anything additional, it is often times necessary to reinvent the way we present it. One of the neatest commercials was the Honda commercial that was a play on Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. Very cool. We as the church, as followers of Christ, need to constantly decide the best way to appeal to new ‘customers’ with the way we package the message.
3. People respond to a message with emotional depth.
There are a lot of people that would say they don’t like the GM commercials for political reasons, but I gotta say the commercial with Clint Eastwood doing the voice-over had to touch an emotional chord with many people. Many times, a message has greater influence when there is an emotional component. The same is true with the Gospel. While we don’t want to see anyone trust Christ purely on emotion, when people understand and feel the significance of redemption, there’s something powerful that happens. The Gospel is a mixture of the truth of what Jesus did on the cross with the emotion of the depth of grace. We can’t separate the two.
The Gospel is enough. Sometimes what we do with it isn’t.
-JT-
Proud and Humbled
Yesterday, I posted an entry about hurt and frustration. I began the post with a disclaimer that what I said might be offensive, and I have gotten some positive feedback. If you’re one of those that read it and have responded, thanks. It’s always good to hear from people that share the same feelings and values.
Today, I want to follow up yesterday’s blog with a little unfinished business. I want to be sure that I am fair when I address issues like youth culture and parenting, because it’s not all bad news. I’ve been in student ministry for over 13 years, and during that time I have had the privilege to serve some incredible student families. Many of them I still keep tabs on through Facebook. It’s very cool to see where life has taken them, and even cooler to see how many of them have continued to serve Christ even into adulthood.
So, today I want to talk about how proud I am of those students who believe that God wants to do something in and through them, and then align themselves with Him to be a willing vessel for His service. I actually got a message last night from a young man who was in middle school when I began ministry as an intern. His message was such an encouragement to me, and I am proud of the young man he is today. I see many students involved in ministry (whether vocational or volunteer), many that are serving in the armed forces, and many that are on the path to discovering the next adventure God has planned for them in their journey with Him.
So many of ‘my kids’ have made me proud. Watching you grow and seeing your obedience to Christ is good medicine for my soul. Seeing the choices you’ve made and the commitments you’ve stood by makes me very happy. And while I am extremely proud, I am also deeply humbled. Humbled that God has allowed me to have a small window of time to invest in your lives. Whether it was for 6 years or a few months, I am eternally grateful that God gave me an opportunity to know you and watch you on your journey. I am praying for you, that you continue to serve him and become the young man or young woman He has created you to be. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of your life.
And I certainly don’t want to forget the parents of these students. Many of you have dropped an encouraging note at just the right time. Or you’ve volunteered a week of your life to a camp or mission trip. Maybe you’ve even allowed a group of students into your home for a DNOW. Whatever the case, you’ve made a difference in the life of your teenager. And you’ve blessed my life as well. Thank you for taking seriously the role God gave you when He made you a parent.
Is student ministry difficult? At times, absolutely. Is it rewarding? Yes! I just wanted to take some time after venting to let you know (and you know who you are) how proud and humbled it makes me to have been a part of your family’s life. We’re all in this together, and the journey sure is adventurous!
Serving the King and His family – JT -
Frustration and Hurt
I’m going to begin this post with a disclaimer. Today’s entry is going to be straightforward, and honestly it may offend some people. But I’ve given it some thought, and I just don’t really want to tip toe around the issue anymore.
Last weekend, a number of high school students in our area were arrested for underage drinking. I’ll comment a little more later specifically about the situation, but I found out some things today that really bothered me. This year alone, over 20 students from a local high school have been arrested. Students are drinking and using drugs. In the midst of God doing some pretty amazing things in our county, Satan is working overtime to make sure that God’s name and His people are embarrassed. So, what do we do about it? How does a youth pastor respond to this kind of information? How do parents respond? Or, in some cases, choose NOT to respond. I’d like to offer a scenario that is based on my standards and what I would do if this happened to one of my three children.
Let’s just pretend that my daughter, Reagan, was caught in a situation like this with her ‘friends’. First, I would ask my daughter to give her account of the experience. She would already be in trouble and be in the early stages of choosing new friends, but I’d like to hear her explanation anyway. I would remind her that when you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. I’d lovingly, but firmly, tell her that I am disappointed in what she’s done. NOTHING will ever cause me to stop loving my kids, but there are some things that will make me outright angry with them. I mean, you broke the law. Before we discuss any character issues, we acknowledge that you’ve disobeyed the legal standard, which is dishonorable in God’s sight. We would then discuss consequences. Parents, please hear me. Don’t protect your kids from consequences that they should rightly endure! It flies all over me when parents want to protect their kids from the appropriate consequences of foolish behavior. That’s wrong. And if you’re not doing that as a parent, put your big boy/girl britches on and get serious. After we discussed the consequences, there would be a period of regaining my trust. Go to a party with no parents there? Yeah . . . RIGHT! You’ll be spending some quality time with mom and dad. Cell phone might get taken away. Facebook might get shut down. The reality: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Now I know what some may say. “Jonathan, you don’t know how hard it is to be the parent of a teenager.” I already am. Unfortunately, I’ve been made a surrogate spiritual father to a number of students because it isn’t happening in the home. That’s why part of this post is a plea for parents to step up to the plate and start swinging! The unfortunate truth is that many students who get involved in things like this are simply duplicating a behavior that’s modeled before them at home. Ouch. If we want our kids to live with integrity, we sure better be second to the Word of God as a living textbook. Don’t let someone else instill the truth of God’s Word in the life of your kids. That’s YOUR JOB! Own it, embrace it, and live it. Yeah, it’s hard. It can be excruciating and very difficult. But if being like Christ is the goal we set out for our kids, it should be a labor of love.
Parents, if we don’t guard the innocence and reputation of our kids, who will? Proverbs says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” (Proverbs 22:1) If you’re a student and you’re reading this, let me remind you that you have ONE reputation, so you must guard it at all costs. A reputation is more important than wealth and respect more valuable than silver or gold.
I’ve seen kids on twitter asking their peers not to judge, but it hurts kids who are trying to live for Jesus when their peers fall. It hurts even worse when their friends who fall laugh off their sin and move ahead like nothing happened. It hurts a youth pastor who stands weekly and pours out his heart and speaks the truth of God’s Word to see students forsake it. It just hurts.
Let me close by apologizing if this post has seemed like a run-on stream of thoughts. I’m really frustrated right now. If you’re one of the students that went and got in trouble this weekend, please know this. I love you, but I’m disappointed in you. If you haven’t heard from anyone else, hear from me that what you have done hurts you more than you know. God’s plan for your life is buried beneath the passing pleasures of the world when you choose to live carelessly and immorally. Think of what difference God wants to make in the world through you, and then think of what influence you may have lost doing what you did. You are loved. You are cared for. But you are better than this.
And parents . . . we’re needed now more than ever before! Stay the course and fight the fight for your children’s honor!
-JT-
Joe Pa & Legacy
As you probably know by now, Joe Paterno died on Sunday, January 22nd. I have been thinking about his life, his death, and his legacy. I am not a Penn State fan, nor have I ever been. I do not have any emotional attachment to the university, the football team, or Joe Paterno. I do, however, have a few thoughts about this situation, and how a life like Joe Pa’s can be a reminder to us all.
1. I hope Joe Paterno is in heaven.
There are many people that would equate Joe Pa’s good name and the good things he did in his life to righteousness. I sure hope he had a relationship with Jesus Christ. Those 400+ wins as a Division 1 football coach were useless to him the second he died. I hope and pray that there was something that there was a relationship with Jesus Christ, and that the bulk of Paterno’s treasures were stored up in heaven.
2. Everyone dies.
Death touches us all. I know that I felt its realness last September when my granddaddy passed away. In Joe Pa’s case, it seemed like he always had one more year in him. I wonder if the scandal hadn’t hit how long he would have coached. But the fact remains that our lives will one day come to an end.
3. The way you live is extremely important.
It’s a very sad thing that, while Joe Paterno had a monumental career, his legacy will always be affected by the Sandusky situation. Our lives are marked by every decision we make, everything we say, and everything we do. That’s why it’s important to live carefully. Paul wrote and admonished the church at Ephesus,
“Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (Ephesians 5:15-17)
As followers of Christ, we must guard our lives. We must make sure we live according to God’s Word and that our conduct is becoming of one of Christ’s disciples.
4. Your legacy is a sum total of everything you do.
Is it sad that Paterno’s legacy will always be associated with Sandusky? Yes. Did Joe Pa admit that he should have done more? Yes. Should the scandal that brought an end to his time at Penn State be omitted from his legacy? No. That may seem a bit harsh, but when we stand before the Great Judge after this life is over, He will look at the sum total of everything we have ever done. The Bible says that no thought will be hidden from Him. Everything will be brought into account. It’s sad, but it’s an appropriate perspective for those of us who claim to follow Christ. I know I have been challenged in thinking about all of this to make sure I make the most of every opportunity I have to live for Christ.
I guess the best way to summarize this post is to use a quote from one of my favorite movies. In the opening scenes of the movie Gladiator, General Maximus is leading his troops into battle. As any great leader would, he urges them to fight with honor. His last statement is one that has always remained with me.
“What we do in this life, echoes in eternity.”
May we live each day to its fullest, aiming to leave a godly legacy until God calls us home.
-JT-
Why we Serve
Sunday night I had an interesting encounter. The evening service was about to start, and I was asked by one of our members to speak with a man that had come to our church in need. I met Michael and led him into the foyer to speak with him. He explained that he was looking for a place to stay for the night. If you’re in the Cartersville area, you know it’s been raining and windy, so I was concerned about Michael’s well-being. I will spare you all of the details, but to make a long story short, I got some food for him and some other members and I were able to find him shelter for the night.
What made this encounter interesting was the timing. Last Wednesday night, my message was about serving. Jesus told the disciples His purpose for coming to earth.
“just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:28
We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others. I will admit that there have been times I have been less than excited about helping those in need. We’ve probably all had those times when we are approached by someone asking for help and we’ve deflected them, hoping to not have to deal with their issues.
One of the points I made with our high school students has to do with intentions. The statement went something like this:
“While we are judging the intentions of someone in need, deciding whether or not their need is ‘genuine’, God is judging the intent of our hearts and motives for serving.”
When it comes to serving others, we ought not do it because they’ve proven their need, we ought to serve because it’s the Christ-like thing to do. I hope that Sunday I was found faithful to serve when the opportunity presented itself.
Pray for Michael tonight . . . I’m sure he could use it.
-JT-
You’ve Got Questions?
There are many joys in ministry. When you work with students, there are times when you feel like they’re ‘getting it’. I love it when students come and ask questions. It tells me that they are seeking to understand truth. If you are a student, keep asking questions. If you’re a parent, create an environment where your teen can wrestle with truth and discover what God’s word says. Questions are not bad . . . they are necessary. So, keep asking!!
Tomorrow
Tomorrow, I will speak to a number of High School students. I will see some of them in the hallway, some in my office, and some in our midweek service for High Schoolers. I will hear some talk about hurt, some talk about confusion, some share humor, some ask questions, some request prayer. I will do my best to share with them in whatever they are going through.
Please pray for me.
-JT-
The Importance of Parenting
I have taken a few days off from blogging, which is code for “I’ve been busy and just haven’t taken the time to sit down and type something up.” I want to take this time to piggyback on something that I’ve read recently. The inspiration for this post comes from my good friend and Middle School Pastor, Jeremy Digsby. You can find his post here. In Jeremy’s post, he talks about listening to students’ struggles without being judgmental. I wholeheartedly agree with everything he’s written.
I want to go in a slightly different direction. Understanding the need for students to be heard goes hand in hand with having an appropriate parent/student relationship. This is my transparent moment. One of the things about student ministry that pains me is the number of parents that have seemingly decided that their role as friend is more valuable and healthy than their role as parent. Hang with me if you’re reading this. This is my perspective, but I’ve seen enough over the past 13 years in student ministry to realize this is sadly commonplace.
First, let me begin with some background on my perspective. I grew up in a Christian home. My parents were loving, supportive, God-fearing people. I have a great deal of respect for them today. However, I experienced some (fortunately not a lot) of the stress of the teenage years that comes from trying to relate to parents and win them over. I’m very grateful for my parents’ commitment to being . . . parents. We were close when I was a teenager, but I believe our relationship is what it is today because they refused to get too buddy buddy with me. There were many things that were decided for me. My parents had some non-negotiables. That upbringing has formed the lens through which I look today.
As a parent, I’m beginning to understand how easily we can slip into ‘friend’ mode. I have three kids: 8, 4, and 9 months. I am learning, as I’m sure all parents have, that being a parent just isn’t easy. Because God gave our children free will, we are constantly waging war with emotions and decisions that, even at age 8, can be monumental. What saddens me is that many parents don’t want the title of ‘bad guy’, so instead of creating a healthy parent/child relationship, they abdicate the rights they have as mom and/or dad. Well, in the words of Maximus (from the movie Gladiator), it’s time to “give Rome back to the people”. If you’ve handed over your rights as a parent, it’s time to take them back and own the role God designed just for you! I’d like to list a few observations/tips that I have arrived at during my time in youth ministry. Maybe you’ve tried these, maybe not. Maybe you have your own thoughts about parenting and would like to share them below. Anyway, here’s my two cents.
1. You have been given a very important Biblical role. Embrace it!
God gave your children to you and you to your children. You are not there to stand idly by while your kids make their own choices and mistakes. The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6) You are the primary resource in your child’s development. Own that role!
2. Set healthy boundaries.
A lot of families experience strife because clear, healthy boundaries have not been expressed. Don’t just tell your kids no and say ‘because I’m your parent’. Help them understand the values that are behind your decision-making. Tie in spiritual truths. For example, when you talk about responsibility, help them see that the Bible teaches that to whom much is given, much is expected.
3. Put NO back in your vocabulary.
We’ve all heard the “If Johnny jumped off a bridge, would you?” argument used to refute a child’s wishes. No has become a bad word in parenting, because some fruitcake psychologist somewhere decided that we don’t want to hurt the child’s psyche. That’s hogwash. Setting boundaries gives you the precedent to say No. And saying no might cause tension at the moment, but I believe that there is a teaching moment that comes sometime after we say no. Take advantage of it!
4. Your child has a lot of friends. You are one of a kind.
I want my children to be my friend, good parenting is the best way to arrive there. That means that I will have earned their respect as my daughter and sons, not bent the rules to make them happier to live in my house. Parenting is not fun sometimes, because you have to get in the trenches and fight. But I hope someday when my kids are older, our relationship will be stronger because they had a daddy that was willing to have the tough conversations and help them navigate life, not as a friend, but a loving Father. Strange, but that seems to be a picture of how God is with us, huh?
5. Don’t surrender discipleship to the church.
I am saddened at the number of parents that are disengaged from their children’s spiritual growth. We have many that drop their kids off and pick them back up, and I wonder how many times their experience here is reinforced by parents. If the student ministry at Tabernacle Baptist Church is the primary spiritual influence in your kids’ life, then you’ve got the cart before the horse. We are here to help you and encourage you, and we love your kids. But I want what I do to support what you do.
So, there you have it. Just a few thoughts about parenting. I don’t claim to be an expert, and just like you, I’m in the trenches fighting the battle. Let’s be the parents to our children that God has entrusted and empowered us to be!
-JT-
